“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person” – Mignon McLaughlin.
Are you are in the process to propose your girlfriend? Are you waiting for your boyfriend to propose to you? Are you are already married? Or Are you are there to learn How To Have A Successful Marriage? I advise you to stop the other things you are doing and focus on this article. I will assure you that you will get a significant insight here 🙂
For those who are already married there, How is your married life going? For those who are planning to propose, continue your plan. Research suggests that being in a successful marriage is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Married Life is no joke. It is not a thing that if you are already bored then you will eventually trash it. Married is sacred. In your wedding vows, you promise each other to be there whatever happen, in life and in death, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part. Those are only some of the wedding vows that couple said in their wedding ceremony.
I remember about what happen to my friend. They are already 2 years married. Before they get married, they’ve been together for almost 5 years. A year after their successful married life, they already encountered challenges and adversities in their life. There is a problem happen between the mother of my friend’s wife and him. They both lost their job. They lost their first baby. Everything bad happened in the span of 2 years after they decided to get married. Even with the adversities that they encounter, they are still strong and they are still keeping their promises with each other. That’s why I decided to write this one: How To Have A Successful Marriage to help other people have their successful married life. Here it is:
1. Make Sure You Are Ready To Get Married
This is the common problems for the married couple. Sometimes they are getting married because their parents want to. Sometimes they force to get married because they already have a baby. That’s the biggest mistake that couple takes. When you are about to enter a married life, please make sure that you are already prepared. Preparation is very important. There’s an old saying “If you fail to plain then you plan to fail”. As I said, married life is no joke so you need to be serious in this.
2. Develop The Right Mindset
Did you wonder why there are couples who will easily break their married life? It is really because they don’t have the right mindset when it comes to marriage. Bad things happen when couples don’t have the right mindset. We must understand that life is not always full of happiness. There’s always a problem and adversity that will come along the way. After your successful wedding ceremony, make sure that you already developed the right mindset so that you can both enjoy your successful marriage. Understand that you both enter the most sacred part in your life. Always remember the promises that you said to each other. Whatever happen in your relationship always remember the value of your promises and that will start with the right mindset.
3. Continue Your Courtship
It does not mean that you are already married, the process is already done. Don’t take each other for granted or the monotony that results will destroy your marriage. Keep love growing by expressing love for one another or it will die, and you will drift apart. Love and happiness are not found by seeking them for yourself, but rather by giving them to others. So spend as much time as possible doing things together if you would get along well. Learn to greet each other with enthusiasm. Relax, visit, shop, sightsee, eat together. Don’t overlook the little courtesies, encouragements, and affectionate acts. Surprise each other with little gifts or favors. Try to “outlove” each other. Don’t take more out of marriage than you put into it. Divorce itself is not the greatest destroyer of marriage, but rather, lack of love. Given a chance, love always wins and you can both enjoy a successful marriage.
4. Always Put God In Your Married Life
Has love almost disappeared from your home? The devil (that notorious home-breaker) is responsible for this. Don’t forget that God Himself joined you together in marriage, and He intends for you to stay together and be happy. He will bring happiness and love into your lives if you will obey His divine rules (commandments). “With God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26. Don’t despair. God, who places love in the heart of a missionary for a leprous savage, can easily give you love for each other if you will let Him. If you always put god in your married life then no doubt, you can have a successful marriage.
5. Don’t Put Your Marriage On A Pedestal
Every marriage struggles with shortcomings. In the early years of my friend’s marriage, I thought that they were supposed to be an almost perfect model for others. But I quickly learned that people don’t need to see a flawless marriage. They need to see a couple asking for God’s help as they deal with their shortcomings and weaknesses.
When God brings two sinful people together, it’s war. But God is the God of the supernatural, and He gives us the wisdom and strength to make a relationship work.
Their children don’t see him as perfect dad or them as a perfect couple. They need to see them dealing with their imperfections so they will know how to deal with their own imperfections.
6. Stay Close To Your Family And Friends
Today marriage has become a two person cocoon that we expect to get all our support and intimacy from. That’s not healthy or realistic.
Keep friends and family in the loop. Your marriage should be your primary relationship — not your only one. Dr. Coontz thinks all this togetherness is not necessarily good for couples. The way to strengthen a marriage, she argues, is to put fewer emotional demands on spouses. This doesn’t mean losing emotional intimacy with your husband or wife. It just means that married couples have a lot to gain by fostering their relationships with family members and friends. The happiest couples, she says, are those who have interests and support “beyond the twosome.”
7. Learn and Grow Together
I give you one example on this. One couple, after being married for 30 years, decided they would both return to university for master’s degrees in liberal arts. “It took them nearly five years. They had a great time being in class together, studying together, reading together. The program allowed them to expand their horizons as they took courses in religion, politics, literature, history, foreign policy. They even persuaded one professor to let them write a paper together: joint authors!” Partners in successful couples play to each other’s strengths and interests. If one partner becomes more health conscious, the other joins. If one partner takes up a new activity, the other partner becomes supportive and involved. The end result is a stronger emotional bond and a deeper love.
8. Compliment, Recognize and Praise Each Other
We all do some things well. We all–even me–have at least a few strengths, a few good qualities, a few positive traits…and that’s why we all deserve praise and appreciation.
Think of it this way: It’s easy to recognize great employees; after all, they do great things. But it’s very possible that consistent praise is one of the reasons they’ve become great.
People who work to build a successful marriage sometimes see the good in their partners before they see it in themselves–and that can provide the spark that just might help their partners reach their true potential.
9. Appreciate The Hard Times
I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. We all want to be better than we are. Yet we all fall into habits, fall into patterns, develop blind spots…and that’s why we all need constructive feedback. That’s why we all need advice, guidance, and sometimes a swift kick in the pants.
It’s easy to make a snarky comment. It’s easy to frown or smirk or look disappointed. It’s a lot tougher to say, especially to someone you care about, “I know you’re capable of a lot more.”
Think about a time when someone told you what you least wanted to hear…and yet most needed to hear. You’ve never forgotten what that person said. It changed your life.
Now go change your spouse’s life and continue to build a successful marriage.
10. Forget Spicing Up Your Sex Life
Couples who have sex three times a week are much happier than other couples. This is not a statement about how good the sex is. Of course, if it’s terrible then at least one partner will start refusing. But if you can reach a baseline level of sex where both people will engage in sex three times a week, the marriage will be happier than most.
Cynical note to all you smug newlyweds: We know you are having sex every night. It’s not because your marriage is good, it’s because it’s new. Wait a few years. And in the meantime, based on the study of what happens to text messages between two people when they go from dating to married. Spoiler: The most frequent words during dating are love, fun, soon. Most frequent words after two years of marriage are ok, home, yeah.
So what makes sex good after the thrill has worn off? It’s not saucy costumes and leather whips. It’s vulnerability. That’s right. Sex gets more exciting as the partners get more and more vulnerable. Brene Brown, professor at University of Houston.
11. Pray Together
Pray aloud for each other! This is a wonderful rule that succeeds beyond the wildest dream. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom–for the solution to problems and for a successful marriage. God has given a personal guarantee that He will answer. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right. No family ever breaks up while sincerely praying together for God’s help.
12. Erase The Mindset That Divorce Is The Best Solution of your Problem
The Bible is clear. The ties of marriage are meant to be indissoluble and indestructible. Divorce is permissible only in the case of adultery. But even then it is not demanded, only permitted. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of a moral fall. Marriage is for life. God so ordained it when He performed the first wedding in Eden. Thoughts of divorce as a solution will destroy any marriage. This is one reason Jesus ruled it out. Divorce is always destructive and almost never a solution to the problem. Instead, it creates much greater problems, so it should never be considered. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce, and even success in life itself is often thwarted. God instituted marriage to guard people’s purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to elevate their physical, mental, and moral nature. Its vows are among the most solemn and binding obligations that human beings can assume. To lightly set them aside results in removing one’s self from God’s favor and blessing. Always remember the thing that you are doing in order for you to have a successful marriage.
13. Live A Happy Married Life
Great business teams win because their most talented members are willing to sacrifice to make others happy. Great teams are made up of employees who help each other, know their roles, set aside personal goals, and value team success over everything else.
And that’s exactly how great marriages work.
Every great entrepreneur answers the question, “Can you make the choice that your happiness will come from the success of others?” with a resounding “Yes!”
So do people who want their spouse–and their marriage–to be successful.
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